miss-representation: stink bug

Self-objectification is something I've experienced and probably seen experienced by every girl I've ever met, but only after watching the Miss-representation video did I realize just how prevalent the act of objectifying myself had been in my lifetime. I've felt that my appearance determines my value for as long as I can remember, and when I begin to consider all the things in the past that have confirmed to me that my value is based almost solely on my appearance, the list of experiences is long. One of my most vivid memories from the third grade is when a new girl student transferred to my school very shortly after I did, and almost immediately, she was the center of attention. Even before she said one word, everyone knew she was cool. People talked in excited whispers about the outfit she had on, and how pretty she was, and how cool her backpack and lanyards were. I distinctly remember thinking that the outfit she wore, with all its sparkles and jewels, was something I'd see on Zendaya or Bella Thorne in the Disney show about teen dancers, Shake It Up. Zendaya and Bellla Thorne played cool high-school kids in the the show; they were the "it girls" of the time, and the new transfer's outfit looked like it could have been pulled right from their wardrobes. I thought she looked similar to Zendaya too; they were both beautiful, with long curly hair, and skinny, and small in the exact the same ways. She even had a backpack from Justice and a mini jean-jacket. She was so lucky to shop at the same place with the blindingly sparkly outfits and crop top shirts I always saw on the commercials and billboards. Even as a ten year old, the differences between how she and I looked and the differences in how we'd been treated stood out to me. The class had reacted in a very different way when I'd transferred; the boys and girls in the class were nice, sure, but within a couple days I'd already become just another student in the class. Almost  immediately, I made the comparisons between her, me and the girls and styles I'd seen on TV. She was smaller than all the boys, and I was taller. The girls on the Disney channel were never taller than their male-costars. She looked just like a brown haired Barbie I'd seen going to the Dream House in the Barbie ad, and I thought I looked like a stink bug by comparison. She was exactly like the girls I'd seen on TV, and people liked her, so there was obviously something wrong with my short hair, and the lack of sparkles on my clothes. No wonder we'd been treated differently. She looked just like one of the girls on TV, and because of this, was seen the way she was. Her appearance being what it was (just like the girls on TV) and the differences in how we'd been treated only confirmed to me that my worth is based on my appearance, and that as a girl, there is a correct and ideal way one must appear in order to be worthy and feel valid, and this correct way to appear is to appear the same as the 'pretty' girls I saw on the Disney channel. The TV depicting girls in our generation has set the standard for what is considered attractive and in turn valuable. The way these girls appeared and were treated in these shows has determined the self-image of all the girls who now strive to appear and be treated the same.